Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
