Those balls look pretty dangerous.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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