watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
50% drunk capacity currently
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
