Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
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oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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