too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
