After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
