Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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