doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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