Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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