What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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