we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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