you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
