The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
