I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
