I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
