a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize