i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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