I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize