My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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