There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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