were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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