I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
