Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
