Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
