i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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