why didn't you poke me back
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
