well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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