he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
