I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
