season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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