i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
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then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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