just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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