She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We have started to decorate penises.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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