I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
