also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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