I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
