Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
