He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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