Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
