Are we in a gay sports bar?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
