Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
