I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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