Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
