You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
