barbara walters just said penis...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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