I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
