I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize