Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
