Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
