so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
