there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
