When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
