i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
