He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
40s are totally the cure
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
