I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
