1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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