Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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