so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I still have a little drunk in my system
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
