i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize