grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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