I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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